The Car is back and EBAY.

So with great anticipation, I took the 3 hour BART and CALTRAIN trek to my shop in the South Bay...sheesh...and picked up my car. It was dirty as hell, even in the engine bay. Looks like I'll be doin some detailing this weekend as well. One thing of great note. The catalytic converters I purchased will have to be replaced..thank goodness they're under warranty! The good news is that the new system has what is called "test pipes" and O2 sensors before the cats. They simply slapped on the test pipes and called it a day. All I have to do is wait for the new cats to come in and I just need to slap them on.

The bad news is that the exhaust system, with ceramic coated headers, AWE downpipes with deleted pre-cats, test pipes, and UUC VMIII cat-back, is crazy loud...let me try to be more accurate in my description: past 4000 RPM, it sounds like two grown men screaming at the top of their lungs right into each of your ear canals. Now mind you, I LOVE loud exhausts. When I go to the races or the track, half the pleasure for me is simply listening to motors banging against the limiter...but my car is completely out of hand. My mechanic warned me that between upshifts in WOT (wide open throttle) FLAMES will shoot out of the tail pipes!! It's sooo crazy loud right now that it's almost intolerable....my god, what's my wife going to think!...and I'm only running on "limp home mode" on the ECU!...meaning NO BOOST!! I can't even imagine what it'll sound like with 250 extra HP!! It's almost bearable when I short shift EVERY gear, and I mean SHORT, like sub 2000 RPM.

Anywayz, re. EBAY, I sold my old tranny. I would have been happy to have sold it for 200 bucks but it turned out that I had 430 people watching my auction! 12 separate bidders eventually bid (I even received 8 phone calls while on vacation) and there was an auction snipping storm in the last 120 seconds. The winning bid was 777 dollars!! I'll be auctioning off my old S4 parts online as well. Here they are.

The old downpipes. They sell for 1600 with cats new. The cats alone sell for 300 each. Why anyone would replace their existing units with crappy expensive OEM parts is beyond me but apparently there's quite a market for even used downpipes. My mechanic suspects that shops buy them and install/sell them to unsuspecting clients for full price. Up until yesterday, I thought I would be lucky selling these old units for 100 dollars. I'm seeing gutted units selling privately for 500!

And here is the main culprits, the KKKO3 Borg Warner Turbo's. One of them is still usable with a rebuild kit, and the other has alot of shaft play, wiggly wastegates, and oil seepage. I have no clue what these will sell for. They're 2000 new BTW and I'm still researching a good reserve price.

So I'm off to pick up the last bits of my STAGE III kit from UPS. I'll be working as late as my body and brain will allow and will be finished, hopefully, by tomorrow. After a quick wash, I'm planning on swinging my to see RAVE-BOY. He's working on his car this weekend as well.

Later.

Car Wish List Revised....

Also getting my car back today....WOOHOO! However, there were some unforeseen problems that have arisen in the buttoning down phase: my new exhaust system is quite huge and they're running into coupler problems with my existing UUC VM III cat-back. They've had to fabricate a coupler. Also, they're VAG tool indicates some DTC errors which are associated with all the new parts...essentially, the existing sensors are pinging values which are off-parameter and the new ECU will take a couple of hundred miles to integrate the new hardware. Nothing major.

This weekend, I'll be doing the last phase of the STAGE III system, the AWE Tuning Fueling Kit: Walboro fuel pump, fuel filter, adjustable fuel pressure regulator, fuel pressure gauge, injectors, spacers, air box, MAF housing, Bosch MAF, silicone coupler, RS4 Y-pipe, NGK platinum's, GIAC "beta" programming. I got a good DIY on-line and I figure it will take me 8 hours considering I've never done it before. I'll upload pics of the process.

As for my revised wish list, here it is:
1. APR Bi-pipe
2. Avalon Motorsports "Monstrous" oil cooler
3. Autospeed Performance Phenolic thermal spacers
4. Stoptech 332 mm 4 piston calipers kit, front. Considering this is my wish list, you'd think I'd go with ALCON 6 Pot's or Brembo 8 Pot's for twice the price. My answer is "WHY?". The Stoptech's are performanced matched to the B5 master cylinder and provides balanced braking. Most other ridiculously expensive BIG BRAKE kits actually LESSEN stopping distances. And of course, they won't have brake fade, but who cares if you can't stop the car! These kits are simply too damn big...but people buy them believing that bigger is better.
5. Bilstein PSS-9 coilovers with 650/750 springs. Actually, I don't even know where to get them. I just know they kick ASS. As to the springs, probably H&R's, and as to the spring rates, I just don't know. I read people running 750/1150!!! And again, I can go with Stasis Engineering Motorsports triple adjustable ohlins coilovers with external reservoirs for over twice the price...but why? I want height adjustable for corner balancing, and damper adjustables for street and track tuning. Rebound adjustment is completely foreign to me and MOST people simply leave the Rebound at one setting anyway.
6. AWE Tuning's RS4 side mount intercoolers. Simply BAD-ASS. Nothing comes close.
7. Schroth 4-point harness. I slide all over the place with my OEM set-up. Even with thePerfectLine's G-LOCK, I feel like I might fly out of my passenger side window coming out of T-6 at Sears.
8. 18x8 OZ Racing Superleggera. They look fantastic and have the appropriate off-set for my car. Again, I could go with HRE's or BBS's or Volk Racing's for 2 to 10 times the price, but why? Superleggera's look just as good, weigh just as much, and is just as strong.
9. And a crappy daily driver...a japanese 4-banger will do...hehe. I hate putting so many miles on the "S".

Modifications list.

This will be completely uninteresting for some, but here is my "mod" list, really for my own records:

MAINTENANCE:

- Hi-flow coolant pump
- Lower temperature cooling fan controller
- Timing belt replacement
- Idler roller replacement
- Hydraulic tensioner roller replacement
- Crank oil pump seal replacement
- Behr thermostat and "O" ring replacement
- Accessory drive belt replacement
- Coolant flush
- Mobil One oil change
- NGK Platinum plugs
- Alternator replacement
- Intake gasket replacement

INTAKE:
- AWE Spec modified airbox
- ITG drop in panel filter
- Bosch mass air flow meter
- AWE Proprietary billet MAF housing with sensor adaptor
- AWE Proprietary silicone 3 way MAF hose
- AWE MAF PCV aluminum plug
- NGV replacement (don't ask me what it does or where it is, I don't know!)

TURBO and PLUMBING:
- RSK04 KKK04 Borg-Warner turbos and waste gates(2)
- K04 inlet pipes and coupler
- K04 hardware and gasket set
- 12 piece silicone hose kit and hose clamp kit (note: thePerfectLine has blown out my lower driver's side intercooler hose at Thunderhill)
- Hyperboost dual billet diverter valves
- RS4 Y-pipe
- APR solid Y-Bi-pipe
- Dual turbo timer

EXHAUST:
- AWE stainless downpipes with relocated 02 sensor bungs (2)
- AWE stainless 400 cell hi-flow cats with 02 sensor deletes (2)
- AWE stainless test pipes (2)
- AWE ceramic coated headers (2)
- UUC Motorwerks VelociMax III dual exhaust cat-back
- 02 sensor replacement

FUELING:
- GIAC ECU Stage 3 programming: with 5 program flashes; 91 Octane, 100 Octanes, Valet program, Ignition Kill, stock program
- Balanced Bosch ME7 fuel injectors (6)
- Fuel rail spacers, head bolts, and "O" rings
- Walbro 225 hi-flow fuel pump
- Fuel filter replacement
- Adjustable fuel pressure regulator (25 to 80 psi) and pressure gauge

SUSPENSION:
- Bilstein RS4 tie rods, left and right
- Bilstein uprated upper front and rear, left and right control arms
- Bilstein front sway bar end links
- H&R coil overs with threaded perches (these units SUCK btw, if I had to do it all over again, I would have gotten Bilstein PSS-9 adjustables with shock dyno matched 700/750 lbs springs front/rear.
- RS4 motor mounts
- APR snub mount

TRANNY:
- RS4 clutch disc
- RS4 pressure plate
- RS4 throw out bearing
- AWE light weight aluminum flywheel
- Tanoga short shifter (which is sooo long, I practically have to lean forward to shift into 5th!)
- Poly tranny mount

BRAKES: (needs some help!)
- Stainless lines all 4 corners
- PBR Axxis ceramic pads all 4 corners
- ECS slotted rotors, front pair
- Super Blue high temp brake fluid
- debris shield removal

EXTERIOR:
- Rieger RS4 front bumper with oversized intercooler intake and intercooler dumps
- M3 rear Lip spoiler (Thanks guys)
- Crappy 50% tint (came with car)
- Clear corners (came with car)

INTERIOR:
- Ultimate Pedals aluminum pedal and dead pedal set (Thanks theperfectline)
- MOMO shift knob

AND MY WISH LIST, which, considering the cost of recent repairs, will be purchased upon winning the lottery:
- Stoptech 355 MM 4-piston calipers front
- Stoptech rotor hats and mounts, slotted and crossdrilled
- Volk Racing Hyper black 18x8 wheels
- Bilstein PSS-9/H&R coilover set, 700/750 lbs springs
- AWE RS4 Intercoolers
- Phelonic intake manifold spacers
- RS4 Oil cooler
- AWE Driveline Stabilizer
- Stasis Engineering rear bias center differential
- Stasis Engineering rear limited slip differential
- Schroth 4 point harness

Gotta go.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Several updates:

1. Car. I am completely jonesing to get my car back! Took some pictures. I got a break on the labor provided they keep the car for a bit longer than it would normally take to complete the swap. Typically, they would assign a single technician to work on the project eight hours a day for a week. In my case, they'll be working on it as time permits...cool with me considering I'm saving fifteen hours of labor! The motor was out and now its back in.

The list of mods is literally too long to mention but the work is being done slowly but surely. I'll have to re-break it in like a new motor so no 5000 RPM clutch dumps for three months.

2. TheDiscourser's Havanese looks super-cute. I want it!...after he's broken in.

3. My wife and I spent the weekend at Mendocino. Just a gorgeous place BTW. If you guys have the chance to check it out, DO IT. Firstly, the drive through CA 128 to HWY One was out of control! A hundred miles of twisties through Anderson Valley (much like Napa Valley's wine and grape country) and old-growth Redwood forests...and in some cases, the Redwood canopy is soo thick and tall that it seems as if you're driving through a green tunnel. And my wife did NOT get sick while I drove. She discovered that she gets sick when I accelerate through turns, which is a habit one develops after several high performance driving clinics...your car is simply more stable on neutral or part-throttle post apex.

Stayed at 2 different lodges, one, the Blackberry Inn, a favorite of ours, and the other, the Hill House which seemed okay. What's fantastic about Mendocino is that it has something for everyone. State park after state park stretching hundreds of miles from the coast to the cascade range. Hidden valleys and breathtaking stretches of jagged cliffs and headlands, ancient Redwood forests and hidden lakes filled with spawning salmon.



Miles of hiking trails and dozens of campsites both walk-in and drive in...and some right on the beach! And the town of Mendocino takes you back to the turn of the century. They have an Uber strict architectural code and the homes and upscale shops are soo quaint, it's hard not to take a picture of every building you see. One downside is the cost...sheesh, it's as if every restaurant has some Zagat rated chef.

Anywayz, that's it for now.

The S4; the Bad Bad Bad news, and the ridiculously good news.

So I heard back from my mechanic at Dynospot Racing and he confirmed my worst fears. In fact it was worse than expected. My passenger side Turbo is history....it's leaking oil, buzzing like mad (meaning the turbine impeller wheel is grinding away on the case), my catalytic converters are gutted, and the oil from the busted turbo lines have cooked my O2 sensors...I felt light headed as he broke it down. I had to lean up against the kitchen counter. My wife was kind...she knows how much I love my car.

Cost of repairs:
1. 2500 just for labor!!!
2. New O2 sensors and cord: 250
3. New Cats: 500 a set
4. New K03's, direct replacements: 2000 for both
5. New hardware, gaskets, oil lines, inlet pipes, coupler pipe, regulator: 1000
Kill me quick....hurry.

I immediately began scouring the web and all S4 and Audi forums....nothing new for me. There have been literally thousands of people in my shoes and nearly each and every one decide to step up to what is called STAGE III...and if you look hard enough, dig deep enough, and just get a little bit lucky, you can walk away with a monster set-up for less than the cost of direct replacement. Here is the justification:

1. Your spending nearly three grand on just labor, you might as well invest in a more robust kit.

2. The modifications will place your car at STAGE III, and you'll be able to recoup your initial loss on the front end with a higher selling price point when you sell the vehicle on the back end....and I absolutely know that logic first hand. I was looking into STAGE III's when I was shopping for an S4 3 years ago and noticed that all STAGE III's were going for at LEAST FIVE GRAND MORE. And today if you look on EBAY, you'll find that they're still getting near FIVE GRAND MORE! Great news.

3. My engine will be pulled and taken apart piece by piece...and aside from the bottom end, the engine will be nearly new. And the RS4 parts are designed to take a beating. No more worrying about blown turbos and leaking oil. All the parts are bigger and beefier.


So after literally hours of research (I actually stayed home today...we're getting our carpets cleaned and my stomach has suffered from the car stress...I know, I'm a nut), it appears as if I've cashed in on my good Karma.

1. The Dynospot guys have been really good to me over the last 3 years. They've had me walk away several times without paying a dime for a problem another shop could have easily swindled thousand dollars from me. They've been consistently honest and have given me the best deal on labor...and by far. I've called all six tuner shops in the Bay Area that have experience with STAGE III Turbo swaps. Each one has quoted me 38 to 42 hours of labor at anywhere from 100 to 125 bucks an hour....yikes! Dynospot will do it in under 25 hours and at 75 bucks an hour....SOLD. Three points of Karma cashed.

2. Depending on where you source your STAGE III kit, whether AWE, ECS, AVALON, APR, ASP, STREETWERKE, 2BENNETT, or STASIS, your looking at a minimum $5,500 to a maximum of $7,700 for Hybrid RS6's!! Big difference compared direct OEM stock S4 replacements which cost 3250, and maybe 2750 if you find one slightly used. I found some rich fellow, Jarett, in UT on the Midwest Audiforum. He owns a Porsche 997TT, an Audi RS6, a Cayenne Turbo, and ONE RECENTLY REAR-ENDED B5 S4 STAGE III!!!!! The car is a wreck. He showed me a pic and it simply can't be sold, so he's parting it out. His STAGE III kit is from AVALON and AWE TUNING and has five thousand miles on them. They're in perfect condition and he even reassured me by telling me to call his local tuning shop (Which I did BTW) to confirm the recent purchase and the professional installation. Called his tuner and sure enough, it's in great shape and will deliver cleaned, all pipes, hardware, oil lines, gaskets, bolts, couplers, inlet pipes, hoses, clamps, regulators, etc. etc. Still has the boxes and the packaging they came in....and the kicker....drum-roll...he wants to get rid of it complete kit for 2050!!!...yes, 2050, over a thousand less than OEM and at least 4000 less than an off the shelf STAGE III!! I cashed 19.5 points of Karma on that one. Here is a pic of the kit.


3. With the significant increase in POWER, my stock clutch and flywheel simply will not do. Well, again, luckily, I found a guy in British Columbia on the Audiworld Northwest Chapter Forum selling his near new RS4 Clutch kit, with uprated pressure plate and lightweight and strengthened flywheel for, not 1400 to 1800 new (depending on where you look, whether it's ECS Tuning or EBAY), but for 400!! I asked the guy how many miles he has on them and he said he put on about 18,000 pampered miles...no track days. He also reassured me that it was in nearly new condition. Told me to check out his online EBAY shop and see his 99.9% rating and his 100% rating on PAYPAL. My clutch is ready to go BTW, has 70K miles, and the best thing is that Dynospot will install it FOR FREE!! Usually the install is 8 hours of labor but since the motor is out and the clutch and flywheel exposed, he said it was simply a matter of bolting it on! Thank you lord...22 points of Karma cashed. Here's a picture of the RS4 Clutch, pressure plate, and strengthened flywheel.


4. And about my O2 sensors (200 bucks a pop, and the cats being 500 a set) well a Scott from the Northeast Chapter of Audiworld is selling, get this, this blew me away, AWE tubular exhaust manifold, AWE large mouth stainless steel downpipes, WITH 02 sensors, test pipes, deleted pre-cats, and high flow 400 cell catalytics. You can purchase the package at AWE for 4695 bucks. He's selling his ride and parting out his STAGE 3+ components and will sell them for 900 shipped!! You have to understand, and I'm not sure this guy does, that downpipes last forever. You clean them up and their as good as new. He put 8k miles on them and could sell them on EBAY for 3 grand easy. His loss, my gain. He sounded like a young newb on the phone,..either that or he's rich and doesn't give a rats ass. He's not even handling the exchange, his tuner shop is. I hope his shop doesn't know how much he's selling them for and he says he's been inundated with e-mail inquires. I'm the only one that actually called him ready to PAYPAL. And again, the crazy thing is, Dynospot Racing will install them FOR FREE!! These guys are going to get a Christmas present from me this year. It's typically an 8 hour job, but again, the old ones have to come off anywayz, so when he puts them back, it's simply a matter of putting the new ones on. Here's a pic of the kit.



5. And lastly, as I've said, I can recoup nearly 4 grand when I sell the Bad-Boy...I can sell all the old parts (K03 turbo's, on in good condition, old downpipes, inlet tubing, couplers, etc) for probably five to six hundred dollars. Sell my Z28 IROC 700R4 racing tranny (yes It's still sitting here in my garage) for six hundred, and sell all my airsoft stuff (interceptor armor and trick M4SIR with all the cool accessories) for another six hundred (or perhaps more) and I'll survive financially.


I'll have completely run out of Karma like I've run out of END though.

But all you have to see is this Dynoplot and you'll understand:

Oh lord.

Car worries.

If you check out the AUDIWORLD site, B5S4 forum, you'll find that S4 owner's relationship with their cars are LOVE / HATE to say the least. So much joy, and soo soo much pain. It has to do with that incredible motor....an incredibly complicated motor. Twin turbo V's are a rarity. A "V" configuration demands 2 heads, 2 cams, 2 exhaust manifolds, 2 sets of valve-train components, 2 down-pipes, 2 turbos...well you get the point. It's TWICE as much of everything packed into a little itty bitty space, and TWICE as many possible complications, especially in a finicky force-induction system where boost pressure is high and must be maintained.

Anywayz, I was driving across our local bridge, not the big one, but the small one into our little island. As our two lane approach merged into one lane, a C230 Benz was pinching me off and attempting to dive-bomb my entry onto the one lane bridge. I was in 2nd and in the power-band, romped on it and blew right by the little Merc with 50 yards to spare...EAT SOME EXHAUST dive-bomber!

My celebration was short lived cause after I lifted, I hear a WHOOSH sound coming from the engine bay...sounded like a ridiculous blow-off sound ala Subaru...oh-oh. Pulled over and did a quick diagnosis hoping I didn't blow a turbo, an S4 owners first and worst fear:
1. No blue smoke from the tips.
2. No putrid burnt oil smell.
3. No loping idle.
4. After some revs, no dentist drill wails.
So I figured it might have been an intercooler hose popping off. That's happened 3 times so I figured it must have happened again....but nope, all the clamps looked nice and tight. The engined sounded normal so I hopped in and continued my commute home. But as I accelerated to 3000 RPM, BUZZZZZ, sounded like someone just fondled my nuts with a hand buzzer...WTF!! I lifted quickly and again, WHOOSH. WHAT'S GOING ON!

As soon as I got home, I cooled the motor, shut it off, popped the hood, and started my on-line research...all the while hoping I hadn't killed the turbos. I guess you should know that killing a turbo requires the engine to be pulled and the turbos replaced...no other way around it.

ONE turbo runs $1000 new, associated hardware and piping another $500 for each, and the labor, at best averaging 38 hours (at $100 an hour), so you're looking at Seven Grand just to fix it...ouch. Most folks at this point upgrade to what is called Stage III, a full RS4 Upgrade. The upside, you're pulling 550HP!!! (and I've ridden in a Stage III car on the track and can tell you, it absolutely rips your face off. Crazy passing Vipers and Vette's in a 4-door sedan). It's rock-solid, no more worrying about over-boosting and boost spikes. The downside?...$$$$$, and I ain't in any position to drop that kind of cash however intoxicating the power might be. So back to work.

Decided to pull my diverter valves and take them apart to see if the internal gaskets have blown. The passenger side DV looked and actuated just fine but the driver's side piston seemed to have a bad seal...but I can't imagine it producing a buzz.



On-line owners mentioned pulling off the lower intercooler hoses and peak into the IC housing. If you see debris of any kind, you...are...screwed. But what you should be looking for are small metal particles,...why?...cause if your turbo blows, pieces of the impeller wheels will break off and shoot into the IC intake. Luckily I found NO debris of any kind. So I scheduled my mechanic to take a look see.

The next day, I got onto the local super highway and made the long 1 hour trip down to my shop. I kept the car under 2500 rpm the entire way. It's odd for me to be the slowest guy on the freeway. Minivans were passing me in the slow lane but I had to keep it under 60.

When I got to the shop, I told my mechanic of my tale of woe and he said he would take the car out for a spin. I described the sounds in detail and that I would be happy to drive the car and/or be in the car as he drove. He responded, "No, I'll take care of it." He hopped into my car and drove out of the parking lot like he was coming out of pit-lane at Talladega....I couldn't even watch and I had to plug my ears. After several agonizing minutes, he returned...at least the car wasn't on fire. He poked his head out and said, "Your car has alot of power. It's making some funny sounds though. We'd better have our S4 specialist take a look at it. Leave it here a couple of days and we'll let you know." I asked him if I had blown a turbo, and he said "I don't think so...and if it was close to failing, it would have failed after that test drive...hehe." Oh lord, good news. Actually, he's still not sure if it's a bad turbo but I'm pinning my hopes on even the slightest positive remark.

I'll know for sure tomorrow and I'll let you know.

Nothing to report save some totally insane clients.

Would love to disclose some details re. 2 particularly insane clients, but I'd be breaking confidentiality laws, not to mention fill up several pages with completely psychotic material. Just a tid bit:

Case #1. Our system has completely failed this "consumer", to use the present most politically correct term. Over a span of 6 weeks, he's managed to get hospitalized 8 times. For several completely idiotic reasons, our system continues to believe he is able to fend for himself in a skid row shelter. I and several other strong advocates in the community have followed this situation and pleaded our case in the most professional way. I've decided to change tactics and challenge our hospital's clinical determinations.

What it comes down to is that our system sees him as Axis II, a personality disordered individual who malingers in an effort to find and gain housing. They see his psychosis as factitious and instead see his bizarre behaviors as affected. Hmm, lets look at his behaviors, shall we?:

1. Found on the street corner by police swallowing rat poison and eating his own vomit. "Wow, he's faking it I guess."
2. Found naked in a supermarket aisle eating the white part of wonder-bread because "It's never been touched by human hands...therefore it's clean". Sounds like fun!
3. Taken into custody for assaulting a hospital orderly. "People sometimes get angry, don't they?"
4. Cut his arms and wrists and painted his eyes, cheeks, and nails with his own blood. "But isn't that what all the kids are doing now-a-days?"
5. Assaulted and mugged three times by skid row drug dealers over a 2 week period, the last assault requiring a 1 week hospitalization stay. Now suffering from trauma status post his assaults and coupled with his pre-morbid psychosis begins to scream the "N" word repeatedly every time an African-American looks at him. "My goodness, what a racist!"
6. After each of his 6 most recent hospitalizations, he is deemed to be appropriate for discharge into a shelter...but walks out each time within the hour he arrives only to disappear into the community for days without bathing or eating. Each time he emerges at the hospital, he is filthy, with signs of exposure, and is losing and average of 8 pounds a week for a total 55 pound weight loss over a 6 week stretch. "No No No, he's on a diet."
7. He refuses medications, refuses to wear clothing, masturbates ceaselessly, is frightened when approached, completely delusional, totally tangential, NO money, NO resources, NO family, NO friends, NO home, with the slimmest grasp of reality. In his most lucid moments, he knows to go to the hospital for help...that's about the extent of his grasp on reality. "Did I mentions he's racist?"

NO YOU FRICKEN MORONS!! This poor soul is GRAVELY DISABLED! One could imagine that our system would NEVER allow a sight and hearing impaired man in a wheelchair with an IV stuck in his arm to discharge into the streets on his own to fend for himself...but this client is AS MEDICALLY DISABLED as the previous example!

Thank god we got him into a locked inpatient setting on 14 day hold. They'll be following through on conservatorship and compelling him to treatment in a locked and safe setting for as much time as it takes for him to compensate.

Case #2. Man, if you ever get caught trying to set someone on fire (as in dousing victim in flammable liquid and throwing a match at said victim) after having assaulting an absolute stranger at a video store for no apparent reason, say you're schizophrenic and your chances are good that all charges will be dropped,...hey, you're incompetent to stand trial. It is absolutely ludicrous what you can legally get away with while in a psychologically decompensated state. Now how is THIS situation NOT a case of malingering while the former IS? WTF!

Gotta go. Just to re-cap and in the service of "covering my ass": as you can see, NO names have been used, not even initials. NO mention of dates and locations have been made. All details have been slightly tweaked to further conceal identities. My name and employment capacity is not disclosed. And, what the hell, I made it all up anywayz, got it?

Later