SPAM!

So I just finished reading the Discourser's blog about SPAM. Yes, I too love spam. There was a time in my life when I was ashamed to admit this fact, but now I speak about it with pride....I LOVE Spam! Other than eggs, and maybe potatoes, I can't think of a food "product" with more diverse uses. One bit of warning, do NOT read the ingredients list on the back of the can.

And since I'm coming out of the closet about Spam, I might as well disclose a rather embarassing aspect about how I spend my free time. I "role play" game. Yes, I can't believe it's taken me twenty blogs to admit this fact, but I am an admitted "goober". For folks who are not aquainted with this particular brand of psychosis, let me say "Dungeons and Dragons"....there, I said it. I'm a complete nerd. It started in the 80's. All my friends at the time were either nerd-balls geeks or metel heads, bascially living our teenage lives on the fringes. We escaped by playing games of every sort. It started with "Risk", moved onto "Axis and Allies", and finally to "Dungeons and Dragons". I immediately loved the game.....and though D&D is the most well-known RPG (roll playing game) to normal, well-adjusted people in the real world, I should say that D&D is basically dead now...no one "cool" (boy that sounds completely rediculous) has played that system in years.

Now regarding RPG's, the phenomenon has really evolved over the last 20 or so years. There are legions of RPG'ers who now play on-line. Several systems, "Warcraft", etc., has had millions world-wide playing in a universe which exists only within a server somewhere in Indiana or India for that matter. However, old-school RPG'ers like myself build characters on sheets of paper and roll dice of every configuration,...4 sided, the bland 6 sided, 8, 10, and even 20 sided dice.

Anywayz, my uber-goob gaming friends, which my buddy "the Discourser" has most aptly titled the Gathering of Geeks (GOG), are currently enthralled with the game "Legend of the Five Rings"....and NO it has nothing to do with Lord of the Rings. How do I describe this game, hmmm, okay, Medieval Europe is to Lord of the Rings as Medieval Japan is to Legend of the Five Rings. That pretty much describes the world within the game. I've had the most rediculous honor of being super-uber-goob by introducing and running the game...I'm what geeks call the Game-Master or GM for short. My god...this is embarrasing. After over 2 years of running one particularly epic story arc, I've turned over the game to "the Fumbler", uber-goob extraordinaire. I've reliquished the GM'ing reigns and am now a player.

So, in the future, you might be seeing gaming references and blogs. I hope this fact does not diminish your impression of me.

I'll get back to you soon about my new character.

Movie Reviews

This will probably be a little boring but I wanted to get these reviews out there. I've enjoyed watching these movies and one in particular, which I finished watching last night, was one of the best films I've seen in years.

#1. "Water", from India, the last movie in the Deepa Metha trilogy. Absolutely fantastic! A triumph. Set in 1938 India, the story revolves around Indian traditions re. marriage and widowhood. Hindu fundamentalist believe that in life, a married woman is one half his husband's body,....and in death, she is one half his husband's corpse. These widow's live lives of self denial,...an ascetic's life of abject poverty and segregation....an Untouchable, never to remarry, simultaneously ostricized and virtued. Apparently, even to this day, there are over 40 million women living in this manner. The most heartbreaking aspect of this tradition relates to the once common arranged marriage between older men to very young girls,...not uncommonly to girls around 7-9. And in a third-world country with nearly a billion people, it is not uncommon to have 7 year old child widows, doomed to spend the rest of their lives in misery and poverty.
Anywayz, that's the subject. Re. the Direction, WOW. The best way to put it is that this film truly captures the "Beauty in the world and the despair within it,.....and vice versa". The cinematograpy is gorgeous,.... and the camera work, like the soundtrack, is completely unobtrusive...utterly observant. The pacing is hyper patient and without the annoying backdrop of a contrived soundtrack, provides the film-watcher the opportunity to sink deeply into the emotions within the moment. This movie blew me away the way "City of God" and "Amores Perros" blew me away. This movie will win best foreign film without a doubt.

#2. "Volver", from Spain. Nothing epic, just a small story about the lives of several generations of women and their complex relationships. It's one of those movies where by the end of it, you simply want it to go on. The director is soo adept at providing an environment where the viewer soo strongly identify with the characters that you simply do not want the movie to end. And the director reminds me of what they said about Walt Witman,...the uncanny ability to write with clarity about a women's sensibility, but through the adorning eyes of a man.

#3. "Queen", Helen Mirren is simply amazing. Best actress Oscar for sure.

#4. "Notes on a Scandal", with Judi Dench. Sometimes utterly painful to watch. Whereas the camera with "Water" was unobtrusive, the camera work with Notes was unflinchingly shameless. In fact, Shame is the operative word to this film. Just brutally honest.

#5. “Babel”, speaking of “Amores Perros”, director Inarritu does it again with this one. Just spellbinding story telling. 3 Stories, 6 languages, 3 continents, and each paced, shot, and colored distinctly dissimilar from each other. This movie, though not as powerful as “Water” will win best picture. It is easily the most important film in the field.

And finally, #6. "The Pursuit of Happyness", yes, with the incorrect spelling. It was totally Hollywoody, and most of the time completely contrived and utterly predictable, but was for the most part a nicely uplifting film. The relationship between the father and the son was very sweet and totally genuine (probably because they were really father and son). And what I really liked about it was that San Francisco played a major role in the film....it played as much a part as the main characters.

Now for just plain Fluff, my wife and I saw MI3 and actually liked it! It was the best of the three by far. And Pirates of Caribean, Dead Man's Chest was eye-popping fun. Anywayz, gotta get back to work.

Later....

Unleashing Hell on the Raccoons.

Sorry it's been a while. So re. our raccoon problem...as you know, my wife and I have spent months tearing down our old backyard, prepping it for grass, and finally laying down a gorgeous 90/10 blend of fescue and bluegrass lawn. I've been hyper meticulous about watering it at proper intervals and times, as well as making certain it is well fertilized

Three weeks ago, however, I began to notice cone shapes holes all over our lawn. They weren't gopher holes...just holes. A few days later, critters came upon our lawn in the dead of night to pull and roll up the sod! It was unreal! Given the sod had not completely taken into the soil, it was quite easy to pull it up at the ends. Thank goodness nearly 50 percent of the sod had rooted well enough that the bastards were unable to pull ALL of it up. But none-the-less, it looked as if some person were playing a cruel trick on us. Also, nearly every seam was separated!...I imagined there little grubby noses working their way along the entire length of the lawn and tearing it up like a pair of scissors.

I, of course, declared War. Mind you, I certainly do NOT want to kill them. I did have the idea of using my airsoft gun and unleashing full automatic hell upon them, but I'd probably get arrested for animal cruelty. So, I went to my local nursery and Home Depot and invested in some incredibly expensive "solutions". The first was a product from the company "Havahart", a "kind solution to your critter problem". Half a can every week at 18 bucks a can. I tested the product on our cats. I opened the top and pushed it under their noses. One of them ran off and hid, while the other ran from me with a twitching nose. I felt optimistic. After applying the product "liberally", I waited a couple of nights to see if it had worked. Well, it didn't....in fact the problem got worse. I literally emptied the remaining 3 weeks supply and again, the next night, the bastards were at it again. In fact, they seemed to relish in it's odor, mocking me by pulling up sod in those areas where I had placed extra chemical emphasis.

So, I turned to an even more expensive solution....crystalized Coyote urea. The product manufacturer had a guarantee and had 3 products available....basically, strong, stronger, and overwhelming. I chose "overwhelming" and proceeded to inundate our lawn with the stuff. At least the directions did not promise the world...it said to apply the product every week for 4 weeks and monthly afterwards, and that it should be it's most devastating after 3 weeks. This time, I had a more realistic attitude and decided to be a bit more patient. After 5 days, I saw no evidence of raccoon incursion. I applied the second dose. Unfortunately, on garbage night, they were at it again. This time, I saw them! My wife was happening to look out into our backyard when she turned and said, "Oh No". We clicked on the light and there they were. Two raccoons jamming there little faces into the lawn edge and right into the product!! DAMN THEM!!

I went back to the nursery and they helped me analyze the situation. They said that they were clearly pulling up the sod to feed on grub and insects underneath. So the cure would be to obliterate all life in our backyard with a wide spectrum chemical death concoction....all for 28 bucks a pop. The stuff is quite caustic, so after taking the proper biohazard precautions, I blasted our lawn with the chemical. Well, to make a long story short, that didn't work either. They were at it again last Sunday.

I've decided to take it to the final level....ultrasonic movement initiated electronic counter-measures. Unfortunately, the Home Depot doesn't carry this product so I'll have to order on line or pick it up from another nursery in the area. I'm seriously frustrated and our poor lawn is struggling to take root. If anyone reading this has any ideas, that does not include murder however, please let me know.

Thank you...