The Bachelor Party
Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I haven't had the urge. The Discourser is soo good at it and I envy his deligence. Anywayz, the bachelor party:
I haven't been to many in my life. To the bachelor parties I have attended, I've found that I would typically get myself in situations where I would look back afterwards and say to mayself..."Jeez, that was embarrassing". But then again, I suppose thats the point. I was actually relieved to find an Episcopal minister attending the festivities. His presence kept us pagans, with our juvenility and uncaged libidos, in check. I suppose I'm simply getting "old"...not "crotchety, partypooper" old, but "self-respectful" old.
I don't like being the out of control drunk, AND I've discovered I really don't like seeing the friends I care about looking foolish....I guess it bothers me. So, we began the evening with poker and shots...and beer....and more shots, all the while with the groom's favorite movies playing on the big screen projector (that would be Full Metal Jacket and Caddyshack). I brought my guitar and digital effects pedal and had a great time playing through a Marshall tube half-stack....simply awesome. BTW, the host's roomate loves musical instruments and owns about a dozen types. As the night wore on and as the alchohol continued to flow, a Didgeridoo was busted out,...along with a trombone....then the bongos, an acoustic guitar...then the piano, and finally a uke. I really felt sorry for his poor neighbors.
After losing my buy-in playing Texas Hold'em, we decided to hit a strip club, for tradition's sake of course. Mind you, I've never been to a strip club and I kinda wanted to get it out of my system, so to speak. We ventured down to Broadway and got into a pretty up-scale joint at around 1:30 in the morning. It was actually good just to get out of the rain after a six block juant in a downpour. The foyer was dim and the music was thumping throught the walls. I was soaking wet, a bit nervous and quite a bit tipsy.
A short hallway opened into a large dimly light room. Dark figures huddled around tables while two dancers gyrated on two stages to 50 Cent. Now I have to admit, the dancers were Astounding,...not their dancing mind you, but their appearence. Even in person, the dancers bodies looked air-brushed!...I mean not one flaw, scar, pock, or wrinkle! In a way, they didn't look real. I suppose the lighting had something to do with it. In anycase, the gyrating was purely carnal and utterly pornographic. As for the lap dances,...now here's the rub....the women sound like used car salesman. Now I told my wife the whole story and she'd reminded me about the damaging effects of objectification as well as typically sad and dysfunctional personal histories of erotic dancers, and I realize that. But you have to understand; Knowing is very different from Experiencing. So when you see and hear the single-mindeness of the women in their attempts to seduce you into forking over the entire contents of your wallet,...well, the entire exercise is transformed into the sham that it truly is. I knew that it was all "fantasy", to use the industry parlance...but even that is a euphemism. I'd rather call it "phoney" and "fake",...I feel thats more accurate.
After about 20 minutes, my buddy (who shared in my disillusionment) and I really just wanted to leave. My other good friend also received a text message from his girl-friend about wanting to break up with him....crazy timing
Soo, I'm actually very pleased to have walked away without a lap dance. Needless to say, I'll probably not venture into a strip club ever again.
In a nut shell, and to fast forward...the wedding ceremony and reception was fantastic. Very sincere and touching. The groom shed a tear and it brought back memories of my own vows to my wife and my uncontrolled crying. I can't get through a wedding now without holding back my own tears of happiness for the couple uniting. Those two truly love eachother...and I wish them a long a happy marraige.
I haven't been to many in my life. To the bachelor parties I have attended, I've found that I would typically get myself in situations where I would look back afterwards and say to mayself..."Jeez, that was embarrassing". But then again, I suppose thats the point. I was actually relieved to find an Episcopal minister attending the festivities. His presence kept us pagans, with our juvenility and uncaged libidos, in check. I suppose I'm simply getting "old"...not "crotchety, partypooper" old, but "self-respectful" old.
I don't like being the out of control drunk, AND I've discovered I really don't like seeing the friends I care about looking foolish....I guess it bothers me. So, we began the evening with poker and shots...and beer....and more shots, all the while with the groom's favorite movies playing on the big screen projector (that would be Full Metal Jacket and Caddyshack). I brought my guitar and digital effects pedal and had a great time playing through a Marshall tube half-stack....simply awesome. BTW, the host's roomate loves musical instruments and owns about a dozen types. As the night wore on and as the alchohol continued to flow, a Didgeridoo was busted out,...along with a trombone....then the bongos, an acoustic guitar...then the piano, and finally a uke. I really felt sorry for his poor neighbors.
After losing my buy-in playing Texas Hold'em, we decided to hit a strip club, for tradition's sake of course. Mind you, I've never been to a strip club and I kinda wanted to get it out of my system, so to speak. We ventured down to Broadway and got into a pretty up-scale joint at around 1:30 in the morning. It was actually good just to get out of the rain after a six block juant in a downpour. The foyer was dim and the music was thumping throught the walls. I was soaking wet, a bit nervous and quite a bit tipsy.
A short hallway opened into a large dimly light room. Dark figures huddled around tables while two dancers gyrated on two stages to 50 Cent. Now I have to admit, the dancers were Astounding,...not their dancing mind you, but their appearence. Even in person, the dancers bodies looked air-brushed!...I mean not one flaw, scar, pock, or wrinkle! In a way, they didn't look real. I suppose the lighting had something to do with it. In anycase, the gyrating was purely carnal and utterly pornographic. As for the lap dances,...now here's the rub....the women sound like used car salesman. Now I told my wife the whole story and she'd reminded me about the damaging effects of objectification as well as typically sad and dysfunctional personal histories of erotic dancers, and I realize that. But you have to understand; Knowing is very different from Experiencing. So when you see and hear the single-mindeness of the women in their attempts to seduce you into forking over the entire contents of your wallet,...well, the entire exercise is transformed into the sham that it truly is. I knew that it was all "fantasy", to use the industry parlance...but even that is a euphemism. I'd rather call it "phoney" and "fake",...I feel thats more accurate.
After about 20 minutes, my buddy (who shared in my disillusionment) and I really just wanted to leave. My other good friend also received a text message from his girl-friend about wanting to break up with him....crazy timing
Soo, I'm actually very pleased to have walked away without a lap dance. Needless to say, I'll probably not venture into a strip club ever again.
In a nut shell, and to fast forward...the wedding ceremony and reception was fantastic. Very sincere and touching. The groom shed a tear and it brought back memories of my own vows to my wife and my uncontrolled crying. I can't get through a wedding now without holding back my own tears of happiness for the couple uniting. Those two truly love eachother...and I wish them a long a happy marraige.
posted by supergoober at
12:53 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home