You know your a Goob when......
1. You've had a character that has courted, romanced, and/or had sex with an NPC or, worse yet, a PC...and you think yourself quite a ladies man because of it.
2. You can quote every line from every movie Bruce Campbell has been in.
3. You've made very serious attempts to move objects by channeling your Jedi Force powers.
4. You've masturbated to Boris Vallejo artwork.
5. You can write a thesis, citing numerous sources, on why The JUGGERNAUT can beat up the HULK.
6. You know the issue and the villain who was hit by Fantastic Four's THING's most powerful punch he'd ever thrown in his entire life.
7. And of course, you've dressed up as a character from Star Trek, Star Wars, or LOTR.
8. You've been upset about and decided not to go to an Airsoft game because your iron-sights were improperly co-witnessed with your Aim-point.
9. Resident Evil is the greatest movie ever filmed.
10. You have an original set of AD&D dice.
11. You know your buddies character's last name but can't recall your buddies last name.
12. You know how much YOU, the REAL you, cost in points according to Hero System.
13. Conceptualize all human behavior as 8, 11, or 14-or-less skill roles.
14. Can drink 9 liters of Diet Coke in one evening.
15. Laugh hysterically at "fumble" stories.
16. Can get the punchline in the quote "I slight of hand my hand".
17. Have been so traumatized by a Call of Chuthulu game you played 15 years ago that regardless of the game your playing, your character will NEVER look upon any artwork on a wall.
18. You believe Zombies exist.
19. You've thought about naming your first born Tiberius.
20. When you help your friends move and they ask you to help them lift some heavy furniture, you mock them for failing their "push" roll.
21. You are offended that your gaming friend only brought THREE boxes of powdered donuts to a game.
Anyone else???
2. You can quote every line from every movie Bruce Campbell has been in.
3. You've made very serious attempts to move objects by channeling your Jedi Force powers.
4. You've masturbated to Boris Vallejo artwork.
5. You can write a thesis, citing numerous sources, on why The JUGGERNAUT can beat up the HULK.
6. You know the issue and the villain who was hit by Fantastic Four's THING's most powerful punch he'd ever thrown in his entire life.
7. And of course, you've dressed up as a character from Star Trek, Star Wars, or LOTR.
8. You've been upset about and decided not to go to an Airsoft game because your iron-sights were improperly co-witnessed with your Aim-point.
9. Resident Evil is the greatest movie ever filmed.
10. You have an original set of AD&D dice.
11. You know your buddies character's last name but can't recall your buddies last name.
12. You know how much YOU, the REAL you, cost in points according to Hero System.
13. Conceptualize all human behavior as 8, 11, or 14-or-less skill roles.
14. Can drink 9 liters of Diet Coke in one evening.
15. Laugh hysterically at "fumble" stories.
16. Can get the punchline in the quote "I slight of hand my hand".
17. Have been so traumatized by a Call of Chuthulu game you played 15 years ago that regardless of the game your playing, your character will NEVER look upon any artwork on a wall.
18. You believe Zombies exist.
19. You've thought about naming your first born Tiberius.
20. When you help your friends move and they ask you to help them lift some heavy furniture, you mock them for failing their "push" roll.
21. You are offended that your gaming friend only brought THREE boxes of powdered donuts to a game.
Anyone else???
posted by supergoober at
3:49 PM
9 Comments:
Well, that's a pretty fine list supergoober, but here's a few more, in separate subcategories:
Gaming Geek:
1) You know how many DC you can throw with a pushed martial arts attack based on the stack of bricks you actually broke for your instructor.
2) You still have copies of characters from more than 2 decades ago that one person in your group ran once for a game that is no longer in print, just in case he decides to resurrect that campaign sometime.
3) You try and figure out how many points of psychs you actually have.
4) You actually believe that all that gaming crap you have stuffed in a closet or basement or storage unit is really worth keeping.
5) When your friends help you move, you analyse there End and Rec stats, and give them recommendations on how to get the points to improve those characteristics in the future.
6) You have, at any point in your life, slaughtered Kobold or Orc infants to get the extra experience, OR enslaved said children to haul the extra copper pieces out to get that experience and then kill them to get that experience as well. Yet somehow you still clam that your alignment is "Neutral Good"
Sci-fi/TV/Movie geek
1) You remember fondly many sci-fi shows that lasted less then one season, and wonder incredulously, "What idiot would have cancelled that?!" (I still think that whoever cancelled Wizards and Warriors should be drawn and quartered)
2) You accurately quote Monty Python sketches and movie lines, and you look upon people who only quote the movies with disdain.
3) You watch and appreciate any of the following: SeaLab 2021, Metalocalypse, Spongebob Squarepants (only if you are over 20), Fairly Oddparents, Rocko's Modern Life, Animaniacs, AquaTeenHunger Force, Robot Chicken, or any of the other adult swim and nicktoons fare.
4) You watch Simpsons and South Park and try to analyse the philosophical content as well as the humor, and you wonder if the writers are writing a show that is just for you.
5) You view the anti-intellectual humor of Family Guy and American Dad as disruptive to the intellectual fabric of society as established by the Simpsons and South Park.
6) You think Shaun of the Dead was one of the most brilliant films ever made.
7) You regularly refer to people as "John Yah-yahs", "John Smallberries", or "John Manyjohns", and think that "Laugh while you can monkey-boys" is a terrific insult, and don't understand why some might think that you are a racist for saying that.
8) You know that #6 is an Olympic calibre fencer, and a very good boxer, and can resist any and all threats and temptations.
9) You view Space 1999 as an underappreciated gem.
10) You know the names of the actors who played the first seven Doctors, and you know better then to call him Doctor Who, you refer to him as "The Doctor"
11) You can name over 5 of the Doctors sidekicks, and you have them ranked in order of who is hottest.
I could go on and on with more lists, and more categories, but then this would become more of a blog than a response to a blog, now wouldn't it. But I can't resist one last mention:
You comment on blogs and gaming forums with a name so obscure, you think that you have out-nerded most of them with the coolest reference ever.
- The Professor
aka
johndrake6
Oh yeah, one more
You loved the show, "Beat the Geeks", but you thought many of the geeks weren't quite up to snuff (but you acknowledged that the Movie Geek was a total badass)
-The Professor
And Maryanne
Okay, how about:
You have ever argued about how high you were placed on a geek, goob, or nerd scale, OR you have wondered about your "nerd cred" -that is, you wonder if other nerds will think that you are nerdy enough.
The professor (nutty or otherwise)
How about:
You've engaged in a serious debate about why Kirk is better than Picard.
TheProfessor(Chaos)
how about if you see a seven letter word and immediately calculate the number of scrabble points it would be worth. and try to spot an anagram (10 points)
-craftsman
Dude, there's no question...Kirk is better. But think about it. Kirk made sense in the Cold War era during the first series. Picard made sense as a reaction to and in opposition to Reagan draconianism in the 80's. Janeway was a feminist hero during Clinton's reign, but it'll be interesting to see what we'll see next. A reconcilliatory Captain ala Obama, or a more "black and white"/cut-and-dry personality ala McCain. I think the next captain (the young Kirk) will reflect our nation's unease with the complexity of modern times, ie. the war and our economy...and it makes sense that we look back at our roots, so to speak. My goodness, look at the cars Detroit is churning out; all of them are retro/modern versions of classic cars of the past. We want to remind ourselve of simpler, less complex times, when hero's were Heroic, and our enemies were as distince as our allies...I know I do at times.
While to debate those last few topics would be interesting in person, I am hesitant to commit to that level of discourse in print (and given how verbose I've already been, you could see how I might run into several pages worth of topics with those listed above).
What is also interesting to look at is the history of sci-fi and horror movies, and the back and forth swing of scientist as savior and military as evil or naive (or both), to military as savior and scientist as naive and/or evil. Couple this with the swings between man exerting dominance over nature and nature inflicting vengeance on man as themes, and one could easily write a thesis on the social movements worldwide and there science fiction and horror counterparts.
Then if you add on the swing between horror comedy, and spiritual horror, you can see the need to dismiss and laugh at the horrible as if we had some power over it (a way of exercising some semblence of power over a world in which we could die from someone pressing a button) as well as the need to find some sense of wonder and spiritual meaning in a world that says that smart people should not engage in such pursuits. Is it any wonder that The Exorcist had the cultural impact it did as organized religion had been cast aside as dogmatic and self-serving.
Or perhaps I'm waxing philosophical about something that has truly no significant meaning, and I am just attempting to force patterns to exisist where there are none, just as the creation of mathematics is our attempt to impart order on a chaotic void of a universe.
Boy was that bleak... maybe I should just start my own damn blog.
The Professor (Pain)
along with PAD and BDM
Great points...Dude, you should start your own blog. You clearly have a lot to say AND I'd subscribe to it and read like the others.
Start one Prof....I'd read it too
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